My father passed over 2 years ago now and we mostly had a civil adult relationship. There could have been less aggression, a little more openess. Grief wasn’t kind even though this was the beforehand experience. It stopped me wanting to live a more healthy life. I turned to the very thing that contributed to his demise (though not death), alcohol. But enough of that. It’s been awhile now and those murky depths of an alcoholic beverage and copious bottles have long since left my waking moments. No, it’s the continued ‘haunting’. My dad loved his music. It was our one real connection. ELO being a perfect example of the type I began to love after being introduced to at an early age however since his death the sounds only serve to remind me of the loss, the anger, the pain, the unrequited need for love.
I hate hearing what was once a cherished group and singer in a way I never thought possible. He speaks to me more in death than in life and that makes me so very, very sad.